You co-create your reality. You believe that you alone are accountable for what’s happening around you. This really is accurate to a great extent, but you will find a couple of much more variables involved. Life becomes so much simpler once you understand what exactly these variables are.
Study shows us that we humans are mainly hard wired for fairness. If someone gets a little more of something than us, we’re not pleased. What’s much more fascinating is the fact that – we will see to it that they stay unhappy too.
Researchers conducted a really fascinating experiment. In every experiment there was two people in two groups – A and B. A gad been given $100 and they could determine how the money would be split. As soon as they decided the ratio in which the money would be split, it was up to B to decide if they got to keep the cash or not.
An essential point to note was – this was totally free cash. A and B got to keep the money (following the experiment) if B decided that both of them could keep the money.
In numerous cases A decided to split the cash 50/50. And B thought this was fair sand sufficient, so B decided that both of them could keep the cash.
Somewhere down the line things got extremely interesting. In cases where A decided to split it 70/30, B decided neither would get to keep the money, even when B was obtaining $30 at no cost (obviously A was getting $70 at no cost, which B thought wasn’t fair).
Now researchers thought that people in the west did not really care about small amounts like a hundred dollars. So they made a decision to conduct this experiment in third world global countries, exactly where 1 could buy an entire month’s worth of groceries for $30.
The researchers had been confident that within third world nations B would by no means turn down that original $30, even when A was obtaining $70. But something very weird occurred again.
Even in third world countries B didn’t want $30 (1 month’s groceries for free) because A had split $100 unfairly. Yes, B was obtaining an entire month’s grocery at no cost, but B decided to forgo it simply because B thought it was unfair that A got to keep $70 (which was two months worth of groceries).
In hindsight B group was shooting themsleves in that almoghtyfoot once more. The reasoning should have been – it’s okay if A keeps $70, with the $30 I’ve got for FREE, I can feed my family this month (without stressing myself out) or I can do something unique for them.
We believe we’re saints but this experiment shows extremely clearly that we’re hard wired for fairness. Or in other words, we’ll prevent other people from becoming pleased or succeeding, if they are going to experience far higher levels of happiness or success than what we’re currently experiencing.
Your atmosphere (achievement or failure) is influenced by your power as well as the energy of one’s family members, buddies and colleagues at work. Consciously they might say great tghings about you, but subconsciously, it is the opposite. It occurs automatically, it’s not their fault. But you have to be aware of this. The inner energy (till you turn out to be aware of it) is too powerful to override.
This really is what is going on deep inside us – as long as you are suffering with me, I am happy. If I’m suffering but you’re not, then I will see to it that you simply suffer too just as much as I do mentality.
This brings us to the conclusion that you must choose your environments and also the individuals around you very carefully. Make a list (on paper) of everyone you know and ask your self if they genuinely want to see you happy? When the answer is negative then stay away from them. How do you ascertain whether they have your better or best interests at heart? It’s very easy. There is a saying – “Actions speak louder than words”. Those who do not wish to see you succeed will do crap that will betray their inner thoughts, they try and do things to dammage your success.
When you’re single or divorced, it’s Same attracts same and there’s nothing wrong with it. So when that somebody special enters your life, remember that those who are single or divorced are hard-wired for fairness.
If they are single then subconsciously (at least on the surface they are all smiles) they’re not pleased when you find someone new to be a part of your life again. And with out their knowledge or your knowledge they sabotage your partnership with your unique somebody. Just their negative thoughts (they do not even have to verbalize it) create problems in your relationship with your life companion.
This might come as a shocker but your own mother or father might be making problems for you because you’re dating somebody so amazing. For all you know they by no means had such an chance or be involve in a relationship like you have now, and because they are hard wired for fairness just like everyone else, they subconsciously sabotage your personalrelationships.
Now, I’m aware that a few of you might have a wonderful relationship with your parents. But if you’re not close to mom or dad, or you have been away from the family for a lengthy time, and you’re thoughts don’t match with theirs any longer (you’re on a totally different wavelength) then it is vin your best interest to keep your lover a secret until it’s time to get married.
When I mention this experiment to my classroom students, almost all of them are in a position to recall an incident, where their very best buddy or someone truly close to them, did some thing or even said some thing that produced no sense whatsoever (when my students were in a relationship that their buddies or family members did not like). They remember how it affected them, how it sowed these initial seeds of doubt, and how the relationship crumbled before they had any clue about what was really going on.
Once more, in some instances the guidance is relevant. But much more frequently than not the fairness syndrome kicks in, as well as your near and dear ones will do whatever it takes to keep the status quo.